Tag Archives: shame

Queer, queer, queer

This post is about how the persecuted odd duck can persecute the even odder duck.  Me being a feeder and all qualifies me for the ‘even odder duck’ category.

Gainer Dairy, Day 1:  I've got a long way to go; but it'll be one hell of a ride!!

Gainer Dairy, Day 1: I’ve got a long way to go; but it’ll be one hell of a ride!!

I was recently visiting the personal ‘site of a rather prominent celebrity (whom I shall decline to identify) who is — if you’ll allow me to use this expression — outspokenly gay.  We all hear lots of talk about queers who are “in the closet” (more on that later in this post) and about how some have managed to find a way around their shame and fear and have “come out” of the closet and there are certainly lots and lots of queer folk who will assure you that it’s much better to be out of the closet than in it.

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Paying Customer

As many of you know, I’ve recently become single after being married to my ex for twenty-three years.  My ex was a foxy fox and she blossomed from a svelt 135 pounds when we married to a heart pounding 320 pounds at her max.  It was really wonderful to snuggle in with all that soft womanliness.

It’s great being married to a big girl but, like a lot of wives, she was really down on the idea of her husband checking out pornos of younger or fatter ladies.  So I reined myself in on that score.

Things are different now and I figure I’m good to go on the matter of subscribing to fat porn.  I’m a respectful guy who didn’t want to disrespect his wife; but now that I have no wife to disrespect I’m in the position of being able to support the efforts of the hard working gals in the adult entertainment industry.

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Welcome to the Club! … (the club of the unwelcome)

Never doubt that feederism is more about sex than it is about food.  It’s about sexuality and, what’s more, It’s about the kind of sexuality that most people find repulsive.  Feederism isn’t as hideous as an attraction to children; but I kind of think it’s worse than an attraction to members of the same sex.  If you come out as gay there’s sure to be a bunch of lame brains who’ll say some hateful shit; but a lot of people will be welcoming and understanding — people will even commend you for being courageous.  It don’t work like that if you’re a feeder, not these days anyway.

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Porn on YouTube

It’s amazing to me, but there are hundreds — no, thousands — no tens of thousands of weight gain videos out there on YouTube.  If you’re interested in watching a pretty young girl transform herself from thin to fat you’re in luck.  Forty years ago, when I was young, and when the women of my generation were young, there was more restraint.  From what I can tell, it’s a lot more socially acceptable for today’s young woman to fatten up than it was for her mother.  Plus, it’s easier than ever for a girl to get her hands on high calorie drinks and snacks.

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I always expect — and I think this is more than just paranoia — that people will hate me and be disgusted by me if I open up about my feederist fantasies.  Well, that’s they’re problem — or maybe that’s your problem.  My problem is learning how to stop beating up on myself for being a feeder.

Back when I was in my twenties, I was lucky enough to become intimate with a sweet, smart, affectionate, sexy woman of my own age.  Like just about every woman in America, weight was problematic for her.  She was 5 foot 5 and weighed 120 lbs, which probably doesn’t sound like much of a problem but it was.  “I have to starve myself all the time,” she told me, “or I gain weight — and whenever I gain, even if it’s just three or four pounds, everyone in my family notices.  ‘You’re getting fat’, they all say, ‘better lay off the potato chips’.  It makes me so mad!  It makes me want to eat a huge bag of potato chips in front of them.”

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Itching to Get Started

** NOTE **  If the idea of a candid discussion about masturbation grosses you out, you really should skip this post.  Forewarned is forearmed!

I was already addicted to masturbation before I realized that anyone else in the world had stumbled upon the practice.  I was addicted before I even knew the word ‘masturbation’ — or even knew that there was a word for this thing I was doing and couldn’t resist doing again, and again, and again.

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Co-occuring Disorders

If you look at it one way, I’m straight.  That is, I’m heterosexual.  In fact, I’m hopelessly, cravenly, exhaustingly heterosexual.  Nobody straighter than me!

But that’s not the whole story.  You know it and I know it.  I’m a feeder, tried and true.  That’s what gets me going.  Girls.  Fat girls.  Fat girls who love being fat.  Fat girls who love being fat and want to get fatter.  Fat girls who love being fat and want to get fatter who get turned on thinking about how much I get turned on by all things fat.

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Just Smile

Please don’t define me by my fetish.  I’m interested and involved in a lot of things.  You’d be surprised!

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