Slim By Choice

I’ve often wondered — and I’m sure this one has puzzled you from time to time — why it is that, even here in the USA, there are still a goodly number of women who are not obese.  Next time you’re out in public or in a crowd, instead of hungrily feasting your eyes on all the magnificent fat chicks who are there to keep you entertained, look around and notice that there are actually women, out there for the whole world to see, who are genuinely slender (and when I say slender I’m talking about a BMI of 25 or even less!).  And I’m not talking one or two, here, I’m talking about a significant number of seriously slim women.

I know, I know.  It's not much as muffin tops go -- but I think it could be the start of something big!  Keep your fingers crossed...

I know, I know. It’s not much as muffin tops go — but I think it could be the start of something big! Keep your fingers crossed…

What’s up with slimness?  I mean, it’s not as if we’re hurting for food here in America.  You can hardly turn around without getting the chance to grab an armload of snacks .  Yummy, decadent, high calorie, fatty food, is absolutely everywhere.  Trust me, ladies, you could pig out on calories till your eyes popped out of your head — and you could do it every single day — and there would still be plenty of calories left to fatten up all the other women around you.  We’re not going to run out of food!  The food producers in our country are pumping out mountains and mountains of delicious things to eat and even if our demand for yum-yums were to go up (here’s hoping!) they could supply all we needed without the slightest problem.

So, girls, what’s the skinny on skinny?  I mean, when a person notices that some struggling, suffering Ethiopian woman is on the lean side they really can’t criticize her.  Those unfortunates actually have trouble getting enough to eat; and, frankly, (let me get up on my political soap box) if we took our global responsibilities to heart we wouldn’t rest until every female in the world had the chance to get as fat as our own lovelies right here in the States are.

It’s easy to understand why there are slender women in other parts of the world, but why is there a market for single digit dress sizes here?  There’s absolutely no excuse for a tiny waist in the land of the free and the home of the brave!  There’s really nothing stopping you from filling your house with crunchy, gooey, greasy goodies or from munching on them all day long.  I mean, put a little effort into your appearance (or, in the case of some, your disappearance!)

I mean, it’s not as if you ladies are stupid.  You’ve got eyes in your heads!  You can surely see what everyone else does.  How can some of you poor things look into a mirror and not notice that you’re a walking skeleton?  How can you look at that trim, fit body of yours without screaming out, “Get me to the nearest McDonald’s!  STAT!”

There is a reason for all this madness, of course, and it has to do with that dark, negative force we call social pressure.  The pressure to stay small.  Freud talked about the death drive and this is what he meant.  Our country is infected with a Puritanical, anti-woman, anti-body, anti-pleasure, anti-comfort mindset and has been for a long, long time.  If we can’t get rid of our Calvinist attitudes we’ll be living in a country that’s entirely devoid of joy.  It’s your duty as an American citizen fight social pressure!

Sadly, there are women who are prevented from becoming fat because of other people’s disapproval.  It’s abuse, that’s what it is — and it’s all too common.  There are millions of fat women corseted into slim bodies by this hideous form of mind control.  There ought to be a law, I tell you!

The good news is that after generations of this type of diseased thinking we’re beginning to emancipate ourselves.  The present is better than the past and, we can all hope, the future will be better than the present.  These gains have been forged by the heroic efforts of women who’ve braved their unenlightened families’ disdainful looks whenever they drowned their mashed potatoes with gravy and butter, women who’ve managed to get fat in the teeth of psychological warfare designed to keep them skinny.  Now these determined overeaters are raising a generation of daughters who are protected from the ghastly notions that tormented them in their own youth.  All over the country, girls are snacking their way through childhood in houses with overstocked pantries and welcoming refrigerators — girls who are settling into a life of cheerful chubbiness without the tiniest shadow of guilt or shame.  They all owe their mothers a big fat debt of gratitude.

But as powerful a force as social pressure is, it doesn’t explain all the thinness that goes on.  It turns out — strange though this may be to believe — that even without the effect of social pressure some women actually want to be slender.  I know, I know, “WTF?” right??  There are women in your midst who, despite their own thinness, can actually take note of a girl with a massive butt, and an enormous belly, and pendulous breasts and not feel at all jealous.  I know, I know, “What the fuck?????”  There are women who can witness a man marshaling all his strength to help his wife get up out of her chair and not feel at all bad about the fact that her own husband is completely disengaged while she bounds up out of a sitting position, without any help and hardly any effort.

There are women in this world who you can take to dinner and then, after the meal, when the waitress says “Do you want any dessert?” will answer, “No” and really mean it.  ??  Women who actually leave food on their plates.  Women who not only don’t lather their bread with butter, they don’t even eat their bread!  For some reason, there are actually guys to take these gals out — although I don’t see why they bother!

Actually, genuinely, weirdly happy to be slim.

It only goes to prove that it takes every kind to make the world go ’round!

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